[Day 15 of 365]:

Its funny when the characters start talking to you.  its funny when it feels like they are telling you the story through some weird form of telepathy.   I love the feeling of writing in a deep and engaging flow when words practically sparkle off the page.  But it is weird to hear somebody else’s voice in my head as each character tries to tell me something new about my story, something I didn’t know a minute before I wrote it.

I intend to cultivate and keep this feeling for as long as possible.  I intend to keep challenging myself to write every day no matter what happens.  Today I got a tattoo and right now, I’m feeling the pulsing heat of having a sharp needle pierce my flesh repeatedly.  Writing doesn’t actually soothe the pain, but somehow the words in front of me make it more bearable.  Now my Dragon Muse has a permanent place on my body.

Writer’s Prompt: Consider the roots of emotional turmoil for one of your characters and describe how it all began.

“I didn’t want to upset you” Brogan was trying to calm her down since he knew how she felt about the institute.  “we’ve got another hour before we open and Sally should be here in 15 minutes to help me finish setting up. Go take a walk and clear your head.”

Sera’s knew he was right.  She needed to think and calm down before the Tooth and Nail got crazy.  And it was friday night, so crazy was definitely on the menu.  Plus, she was glad that Marcus was supposed to come by but not sure how Bro would respond to him.  She shook her head yes, picked up her leather jacket from behind the counter, and walked out the door.  Brogan shoved his thumbs into his pant pockets and hoped he had gotten through to her.

It was late August afternoon when she stepped outside, so luckily she didn’t really need to go back upstairs and find her old umbrella. She missed the new one Ted now had, but thought it was a small price to pay for less dickheads in her life.  The city was busy around her with it’s early afternoon jitters.  The coffee houses were full of execs getting their afternoon fix and the crunchy hippies were still trying to sell their organic bead necklaces on the street corners.  Pike Street market always expanded during the summer months and contracted back to it’s covered hallways when the rain started again in ernest.  It never really stopped raining, but nobody really bothered looking for cover in a light drizzle.  It’s just God spitting on you for luck, her mother used to say.

Sera realized she’d wanderd toward the waterfront and would easily pass by her mother’s favorite church.  Dad had paid alot of money to have her buried here so she would always be close to them, but Sera rarely visited.  Cemeteries were difficult places for people who had a tendancy to run into Zombie nests.  But she decided to risk it today and turned left through the small uneven metal fence.  She needed some help and her mother’s comforting presence.

Somebody was already standing in the small green lawn overlooking the 405 freeway and beyond into the Puget Sound.  The wind muffled most of the sound of fast moving cars but obscured the woman’s wizened face.  Sera didn’t really need to see her though.  Her Grandmother Rose was standing over her mother’s grave and Sera knew the shit had seriously hit the fan somewhere.  She just hoped that it wasn’t her shit and it wasn’t her fan.

“Sera, your brother said you went walking and I thought I might find you here”  Gran’s blue eyes had gotten lighter over the years but they still held a shrewd humor and intelligence.  She’d kick your ass the moment you stepped wrong and then feed you cookies to send you out with a smile. “He said you’ve been talking about the Zombies again”

“Yes” Sera knew better than to lie or fudge the truth with Gran.  She could always tell “Did he tell you that I slept with a stranger too?”

Gran lifted her brows “I want to help you Honey, but I’m going to need your attention not your angst.”

“Sorry Gran.  I’ve had a rough day.”

“So I hear.  I want to hear about it, but first I need to explain something to you.  Something about your mother.” She and Sera walked over to the one stone bench that face the Sound and sat down.

“Honey, you didn’t set the fire the killed her. It wasn’t you. But you did start a fire without a match that day.  You started it with your mind.  I know your mother spoke to you about the “Monsters” because you had the sight, but we never knew if you could touch the Elements until then.  I told her to explain it to you when you were 12, but she wanted to spare you the pain of living a shadow life.  I’m sorry I didn’t speak sooner.”

Sera’s mind raced backward.  She had been playing with words her mother had taught her in the backyard of the family cabin.  Using the magic to light the campfire and make the flames rise higher and higher.  Her mother caught her and scolded her.  Sera had been so angry that she threw the most powerful words she knew into the fire and ran away for hours.  When she came back, the cabin was a scorched ruin with firetrucks everywhere.  Her Dad and brother had faces red from crying and covered in black soot.  They had though Sera had died in the fire too, and couldn’t believe it when she walked out of the forest without a scratch on her.

“I don’t understand” Sera was crying for the third time today and had finally given up trying to stop it.  Her mother was dead and it wasn’t her fault.  Her father was dead and it wasn’t her fault.  She grabbed onto the only question that made sense “Who Gran?  You said it wasn’t me.  Who was it then?”

“An old enemy of ours, your mother and mine.  But anger isn’t going to bring your mother back.  So I never told you.  I though if I shielded you, I could keep you hidden.  But the other Elementals have found you and it’s too late to stop it.  They want you the way they wanted your mother.  I came to tell you to run.  Maybe if you come with me now,  I can teach you how to hide your power until you learn to control it.”

“Gran, you’re not making sense.  What are other Elementals? And you still haven’t told me Who did it.” Sera was starting to get frustrated and Gran felt the stone bench become unusually warm beneath her. “And why do they want me?”

“Because your Mother and hence you are a direct descendant of a legendary Elemental.  Each generation passes its power into the next element. Earth to Metal. Metal to Water. Water to Wood. and Wood to Fire.  You’re mother was a Wood elemental and you are Fire.”

“So that makes you Water?” Sera was starting to understand and remember her mother’s deeper talks of magic words and hidden monsters.

“No. I’m not an elemental at all. You’re grandfather was.  I’m an Alchemist. I can use the elements, but I can’t generate them the way you can.” With those words Sera felt a barrier loosen and fall within her.  She looked at Gran and saw the faint outlines of five muted colors, all swirling along the edge of her vision.  She looked at her own hands and saw an orange-red flame dripping from her fingertips.   She dragged the mind made barrier back up and the colors disappeared.

The sun was setting over the Sound, and Sera saw the saw orange-red flame echoed as it’s last rays flashed along the horizon.  She watched it slide slowly down the darkening sky and wished she could make it all stop, just for a moment.  She remembered the comfort of tea and crumpets near sunlit glass. “I won’t run Gran.  Not from Mom’s killer.  I’m not sure there’s anywhere to run to”

“then we’d better get you back” Gran stood up “before Brogan gets even more frustrated with me.  Apparently he’s afraid my black sheep status is going to rub off on you”

“Brogan doesn’t see things like I do, does he?” Sera dusted off her jeans and matched Gran’s steps back along the path.  “He thinks I’m going crazy and I’m starting to wonder if he’s right”

“That’s an empty well you don’t need to jump in to” Gran said “This is the only world you get, so you’d better figure out how to live in it.  Bread isn’t going to make itself.”

Sera didn’t care about bread.  She didn’t care about the sun.  She didn’t care if she was late.  She knew there was something more important than all of that.  Sera closed her fists and dropped the barrier slightly, letting the heat flick and sputter inside of her.  Her mother was dead.  The killer was still alive and Sera never was a patient woman.  It was time for Sera to come out of the closet and the monsters to run and hide.

Give me respite.  Give me peace.  Give me long sought release.  Past the oak & tannin taste. Past the blood upon my face. If the world could see the soul of me, it would laugh and gnash it’s teeth.

Comments, links to your writing prompt results, and lurkers are always welcome.

Close your eyes and imagine I’m taking you to a cocktail party to meet the 5 most important people in the world.  However, you’re not a guest at the party, you are the bouncer.  Your job is to make sure everybody has a good time without getting too drunk and without starting any fist fights.  Because tomorrow, these people are the ones who have to work together to make your Life Purpose possible. And anybody who ends up with a black eye won’t be very cooperative in the morning.

Muse

The creative but messy and unorganized animal that lives on the right side of your brain. Lives off of instinct, pure passion, and the search for a new playground.  Doesn’t care about right, wrong, left, right, upside down, right side up, or circular acrobatic mind flips.  Your Muse is flighty, emotional, temperamental and has a tendency to hide whenever you have a deadline.

But what color is her hair?

Daemon

The logical, representative, analytical, repetitive, detailed, repetitive, and sometimes stale robot that controls the left side of your brain. Lives off of math, rules, standard processes, and the Websters dictionary.  Doesn’t understand the word playful and never colors outside the lines.  Your Daemon is militant, precise, regimented and forces you to work long hours chasing the false image of perfection.

Does his tie have polka dots or stripes?

Observer

The quiet, expansive consciousness who watches over your life and your actions without judgment. Lives off of meditation, truth, and solemn contemplation of everyday mysteries.  Doesn’t worry about past or future, mistakes or triumphs, joy or tears.  Your Observer is relaxed and always present.

Is he wearing a suit, a pair of blue jeans, or an ashram robe?

Voice

The source of every authentic decision you hear from deep inside. Lives off of the freedom and power of making a choice and taking full responsibility for your entire life.  Doesn’t sound like your parents, peers, friends, boss, or role models… EVER.  Your Voice always knows exactly what you really want.

Is he drinking a vodka tonic, a glass of wine, or a Roy Rogers?

Heart

The personal knowledge of who and what you truly love without doubt, hesitation, or fear. Lives off of a binding connection to all people, all life, and all universal energy.  Doesn’t allow the illusion of safety to keep you from expressing your long term goals and desires.  Your Heart gives you the motivation to follow your dreams.

Does she seem tired or excited to meet you?

Each person at the party already knows that you are here to help them work together on a very important project.  But they don’t know exactly what that project is.  You have to define it for them.  You have to present it to each of them in a way that they can understand and then delegate actions so that everybody can use their special strengths to help you succeed.

So while everyone else is raving over how awesome my Mojitos are, you have to figure out….

What can the Muse do?

Brainstorm, come up with the most crazy insane ideas that might actually work, and get playful without adult supervision but with a time limit.

What can the Daemon do?

Sort through the jumble of ideas, analyze the options, and determine which ones are realistic and which ones are pipe dreams.

What can the Observer do?

Keep everyone focused on the Truth, what is reality, and then let you decide how to move forward along your path of purpose.

What can the Voice do?

Listen carefully to each option, make an honest decision, and stand his ground whenever the opposition says “that’s not possible.”

What can the Heart do?

Whisper the word “BELIEVE” in your ear, sing your praises for every action you take, and then shout triumphantly off every rooftop as your dreams become reality right before your eyes.

Here’s your chance to meet each one and find out what makes them tick.  Learn how they like to work and more importantly, how they like to work together. Take a minute and have a conversation with each one.  Ask them how they would solve a problem that you haven’t been able to solve yet.

Jot down details about them in your journal.  Who do you find the easiest to speak to?  Which one has the funniest jokes?  Which one pisses you off or tries to ignore you?  Which ones interrupt you?  Which ones get along and which ones don’t?

As you acquaint yourself with each facet of your own personality, you may discover areas of your life that you’ve been ignoring or overemphasizing.

• The current educational system taught you to focus attention on your logical Daemon and ignore your creative Muse. But deep down, you know you need your Muse, even if she is a bit messy.
• The constant bombardment from others may have relegated your true Voice into a dark corner and made it hard to hear exactly what he is saying.  Take this chance to differentiate that Voice from all the rest.
• The Observer is always mindful of his feet.  Ask yourself “Where are my feet?” and realize that you didn’t have them in your awareness until a moment ago.
• Imagine how different your life would be now if you really believed in your dreams and took a leap of faith every once in a while.  Learn to listen and trust the whispering of your Heart.

“A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure. I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”  ~Oscar Wilde

After taking the time to meet and appreciate your Muse, Deamon, Observer, Voice and Heart, you may discover that EVERY person is a little crazy on the inside. But after a deeper look, you’ll realize you need every one of these invisible people inside you to reach your dreams. It’s just a matter of giving everybody an umbrella in their drink AND learning how to lead them.

“A man has to learn that he cannot command things, but that he can command himself; that he cannot coerce the wills of others, but that he can mold and master his own will: and things serve him who serves Truth; people seek guidance of him who is master of himself.”   ~James Allen

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Have you ever noticed the 5 invisible people inside you? Do they usually fight or get along? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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Do you ever get the feeling that you’re wasting your life?  Running in circles, forever busy, but never getting anything of consequence done? You know that if you could just figure out what you SHOULD be doing with your life, you would finally feel the passion and motivation that’s been missing.

“You’re here because you know something. What you know you can’t explain, but you feel it. You’ve felt it your entire life, that there’s something wrong with the world. You don’t know what it is, but it’s there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad.” -Morpheus from The Matrix

What you’re looking for is your purpose.  And its not missing.  Its there, waiting in the shadows for you to discover it.

What Is the Matrix

The Princeton dictionary defines purpose as “an anticipated outcome that is intended or that guides your planned actions.”  But your life purpose isn’t just a goal.  It’s a goal that ignites endless passion, motivation, and emotion. And it doesn’t just guide your actions, it builds your life into the Hero’s Journey. The human story of overcoming difficulty where we discover that the internal rewards far outweigh the external ones.

Purpose can also be described as simply “what something is used for.”  And for many people, this is where the lack of clarity arises.  However, your purpose is NOT what someone or something uses you for, because no one but you can define your purpose.   Nor is your purpose the same things as your life’s Meaning.  The meaning of your life defines the context of your purpose, but not the actual goal.  For a better understanding of this, read Create a Meaningful Life.

The Red Pill

So what is your life purpose?  Just as is the case with so many Koans, or riddles of life, the answer is short and easy to understand.

Your life purpose is to share you inner self with others.

But not necessarily simple to act upon.

“Neo, sooner or later you’re going to realize just as I did that there’s a difference between knowing the path and walking the path. ” -Morpheus from The Matrix

For many people, this easy answer fills them with fear.  Fear that they don’t really know their true inner self. Fear of exposing themselves to others and being rejected.  Fear of failing or not being good enough.  Fear of succeeding but ending up alone at the top.  And each of these fears MUST be faced…. in time.

Although the short answer is hard to face, the good news is that the hard answer arises from a simple Q&A session.

Down The Rabbit Hole

Here’s how you find the hard answer.

1.  Ask yourself “Am I ready to know my purpose?” and listen to your internal Voice.  Remember, your internal Voice doesn’t sound like your parents, your boss, your coworkers, or anyone else.  Your Voice, whether it’s soft or loud, sounds like you and only you.  You’ll always know it, because it will always sound like the truth.  And, the answer to this first question will be YES.  That’s why you’re still reading.

Now that you’ve opened up to your Voice, you’re ready to…

2.  Ask yourself “Am I frightened of my purpose, even a little?” and accept whatever response you receive.  Many people will also answer this second question with YES.  This is a huge step.  You’ve accepted that you want to know your purpose and that you have fears associated with that purpose.

If you answered this second question with NO, then you may need to dig deeper or you may not be listening to your true Voice.  Perhaps your Daemon, your analytical side, is blocking your feelings with too much logic.  For example, the Daemon may respond “Of course I’m not afraid of my purpose.  I just haven’t figured out what it is. That’s why I haven’t done it yet.”  Don’t fight with the Daemon but don’t believe it’s BS either.  Fighting only gives it more power.  Instead, ask a more literal question such as “Am I afraid of acting on my purpose?”

Its important to recognize that you have fears linked to your life’s purpose. If you didn’t have any fears, you would already be doing exactly what you need to do.  This acceptance is critical when you…

3.  Ask yourself “What do I NEED to share with others that I haven’t shared yet?” and  “What do I NEED to do that I haven’t done yet?” Write every answer down in your journal.  Do you need to write your life story?  Do you need to quit your corporate job and become a teacher? Do you need to guide and inspire others? Everything.  Even if it’s “I don’t know” over and over again.  Write it down until you reach past your inhibitions and you begin to feel deep seated emotions. Write until you feel something, whether its anger, sadness, happiness, or fear.  Then, each time you feel emotions begin to well up, mark that entry, and continue writing.

Give this process at least 30 minutes to an hour.  Some bloggers say you can find your answer in 20 minutes, but I think it takes a little longer.  You need to give yourself some time to peel back the protective layers and let your Voice speak from the deepest part of your soul. Whether your list has 8 marked items or 80, these are the keys to your life’s purpose.

After you have marked as many entries as you want and you feel that nothing new is coming up then you…

4.  Sift through the marked answers to find the critical ones. Compare each marked answer and cross off or combine similar thoughts.  Prioritize your marked answers according to which ones have the most meaning, the most passion, the most emotional content for you.  These 5 to 10 answers are your Life Purpose.

The One

Taken together, the answers to your Life Purpose are absolutely unique to you.  They don’t signify the same ideas to anyone else and more importantly, they can’t be done by anyone else.  Their uniqueness defines you as the One to achieve them. It also defines you as the One who must face the associated fears.

“I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Being the One is like being love. No one can tell you you’re in love, you just know it. Through and through. Balls to bones.” -Oracle in The Matrix

Happily, the act of confronting your fears is also an act of creation.  Facing your fears creates a deeper understanding of your inner self. It indicates you have hope, faith, and belief that your inner self can overcome this obstacle and transform into something greater.  You already know you can be and do so much more.  Accept your belief, accept your Life Purpose, and turn to face one fear.

To begin, simply choose one piece of your Life Purpose and act.  Perhaps you need to take a Leap of Faith or perhaps you need more insight into the fear itself, but you must act.  To face your fears is to walk the Path of Purpose and live openly from you inner self. I know you can do this and so do you.

“I don’t know the future. I didn’t come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it’s going to begin.

I’m going to hang up this phone, and then I’m going to show these people what you don’t want them to see. I’m going to show them a world without you. A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you. “ -Neo from The Matrix

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What is your Life Purpose? How are you working toward your Life Purpose? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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How can you know what really matters in life?  How can you know if what you are doing is what you are meant to do?  How can you know if what you are doing has any meaning at all?

The short answer is this…

What matters in life is to know the meaning of life.  And the most powerful way to know something is to create it.  So what matters in life is to create the meaning of your life.

If that seems a little confusing, here’s the long answer….

Your Meaning vs Their Meaning

First, what you are doing does have meaning.  Your life will always mean something.  But that meaning is more powerful, more potent, more helpful if YOU create it, instead of letting someone else give it to you.

Unfortunately, many people look to their friends, their family, or their work to define the meaning of their life.  They drown out their inner Voice with the voices of their parents, their peers, their boss, or even famous public figures.  This can tell us what other people want THEIR life to mean.  But it eventually creates more internal confusion than clarity and still leaves that nagging ragged question… “what does MY life mean?”

3 Ways of Knowing

In general, there are three ways of knowing something.  You can understand it, or know it cognitively.  You can experience it, or know it experientially.  And you can create it, or know it by distinguishing it. Creating something makes it distinct from everything else.  So, knowing something by creating it, is the most powerful method.

Find your Voice

To understand the meaning of your life requires that you distinguish between your inner Voice and all those other voices (family, friends, coworkers, etc).  Take the time to meditate regularly to find clarity or use your journal to determine which thoughts and feelings “sound like you” and which do not.

Ask the question, “Whose thoughts and ideas are these?” and simply listen. Can you distinguish between the voices that speak and the Observer who listens?  Then, can you notice which voice makes you feel passionate, excited, or hopeful? That’s your inner Voice. Check out I Know I’m in There Somewhere by Helene Brenner for more great ways to find your inner Voice.

Once you begin to focus on your inner Voice, it will get louder and stronger each time you listen to it.  But more importantly, you will understand this Voice better than the other voices.  And vice versa, you will realize that the voices of others cannot know or understand you better than your own.

So, if others cannot know you better than you know yourself, why would you let them define the meaning of your life?  You wouldn’t.

That means you must create the meaning of your life.  No one else can give it to you.  No one else can define it for you.  No one else can know it better than you.

Life’s Meaning, Now

Get our your journal, return to your inner Voice, and ask “What do I want my life to mean, right now?” Number & write down everything that your inner Voice says.  It may be a million things.  It may be one thing.

You may hear words like  Love. Power. Freedom. Connection. Beauty. Truth. Understanding. Harmony.  Or you may hear something completely different.  The first time I tried this, I heard over two hundred meanings and wrote for over an hour.  By distinguishing what you want your life to mean, you’ve instantly created the meaning of your life.

But, there’s a catch.  The meaning you’ve just created only applies to that single moment.  With each passing breath, you have the opportunity to recreate the meaning of your life.  And take action on that meaning.

Take Action

With action, comes clarity. You may begin with a thousand different meanings, but as you take meaningful actions, those thoughts will distill into one to five powerful ideas.  The more actions you take, the clearer your life’s meaning will become.

After a while, you can revisit your inner Voice and ask again “What do I want my life to mean, right now?” Listen without expectation and write down everything you hear.  For me, right now, those two hundred thoughts have boiled down to Unity, Authenticity, & Transformation.  Your life’s meaning could be something similar, or something completely different.  You simply have to take the time to create it.

Your life matters because you accept the responsibility of your inner Voice, create your life’s meaning, and act on it.

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How do you discover what matters in your life? What meaning do you want to express in your life? Share your ideas in the comment section!

If you enjoyed the article, please subscribe to LiraVaughan.com and share it with your friends using the Share & Enjoy social bookmarking sites. Thank you for your support!