Next, I promised to use my life as [...]]]>

First, thank you for sticking with me.  Whether you are doing it to learn about making changes in your life, or just to watch my antics as a physicist madly enamored with patterns, who enjoys organizing emotions and other thought gymnastics…. I do appreciate your support.

Next, I promised to use my life as a guinea pig so I’m going to have to change something.  Something BIG.  Something that isn’t going to be all puppy dogs and rainbows for me.  Something that scares the crap out of me. And (oh boy) do I have the perfect problem.

All I had to do was ask myself “What’s not working?” (actually, in my journal I wrote “What’s fucked up and needs to get fixed?” but it’s just as effective without the swearing).  And then I waited.  Unfortunately, I waited a very long time, 6 months to be exact, while I hemmed and hawed about all the stuff I wanted to fix.  Small Mistake!

Then I learned some stuff from a book called “Five Wishes” by Gay Hendricks & “The Sedona Method” by Hale Dwoskin & added in my knowledge of process improvement techniques.  So, here’s how I defined my goals in less than 15 minutes… (get out your journal & follow along with me!)

Step ONE:

Choose one area of your life that you want to change.

• Habits
• Career 
• Money
• Education
• Relationships
• Family
• Emotions
• Character
• Life Purpose
• Spiritual Development
• Fun/Adventure<– I chose this area

Step TWO:

Pretend you are dying (I’m not being morbid!  Just close your eyes and imagine yourself lying on your deathbed).  And someone asks you “What one thing would have made you successful in this area of your life?” Write it down, NOW.  Don’t give in to mental prioritizations.  In one sentence, write down the first thing that came to your mind.  (Are you done?  I’ll wait.) This is your old, unwanted pattern.

Here’s mine: I’m constantly disappointed that I’ve never written or published a single fictional story even though my mind is constantly filled, to the point of swirling insanity, with new characters, new plots, and new book ideas.

Step THREE:

Pull out your journal again and describe why this is important to you. Notice the words “to you.”  Define why this problem is a big deal for you, NOT why it *might* be a big deal for you mother, or your husband, or your wife, or your boss.  Also notice that I’m not asking for your ideal solution.  Try to avoid detailing exactly how you are planning to fix this problem.  It doesn’t make sense to jump to a solution before you really know the issue AND the goal.  Instead explore why you care about this change so damn much.

Also make sure that it’s your authentic voice writing down these reasons and not the mental chatter of somebody else’s view (that we can all carry inside our heads).  If you take more than 10 minutes on this step, you’re probably not listening to your intuition. So use a timer if you have a problem discerning your internal voice from all the other gremlins in there.

Here’s mine (a short excerpt):

“I must create Connection but the how & why elude me constantly, evolving like a symbiotic organism, separate but essential to my own life.  The idea that feeds me is Connection.  Truth, Love, & Freedom MUST be shared…. I’m not a superhero (or a supervillian) and rarely pretend to be, but I know that standing on a pedestal makes me a target & scares the crap out of me.  However, if my true purpose is the only guidance I have, then stand I must.  Speak for playfulness & sincerity as two sides of the same coin.  Express authenticity, sensuality, and freedom as an example for anyone else who needs to know they are real.”

Step FOUR:

Boil all those journaling words down to 4 or 5 key points. (this won’t be too hard if you held up to the 10 minute time limit)

Here’s mine: This is a critical change I want to make because…

• The fictional stories in my head could help me connect with, entertain, and teach a lot of people.
• I want the world to know that their life can be authentic, sensual, playful, and amazing.
• I want to share the power of imagination and creative expression to change peoples lives inside and out.
• I might actually explode if I don’t tell my fictional stories to the people who truly need to hear them.

Step FIVE:

Using what is important to you from step FOUR, describe the change you want to create in one sentence.  Write down exactly what this area of your life could be like *today* if this problem was already resolved. Basically I want you to state your new pattern in a positive manner using the present tense.  Please don’t list how you are going to fix things.  Describe how it feels to be living life when the problem isn’t a problem anymore.

Use brevity but be honest.  Leaving out something essential simply because you’re not sure if you should (or should not) have it will just add a destructive element to your pattern later.  It’s a waste of effort to define a new pattern and build in a way to sabotage it at the same time. It may be scary, but you’ll be happier with the truth in the long run.

Here’s mine: My life is truly awesome because I create an abundant living by writing and publishing amazing and wonderful stories that help people experience an authentic, sensual, and playful world in their imagination and in their real life.

After step five, rewrite your problem statement, 4 key points, and new pattern goal on a single sheet of paper and post it in your office (or anywhere else you’ll see it everyday). Doing this extra step can ensure that you are constantly reminded of your promise and daily reaffirm your passion to make this change.

If just writing down you goals is a new step that you’ve never taken before then, congratulate yourself.  Only 3% of people on the earth write down their goals and that 3% is purported to hold more wealth, own more land, and make more money than any other group.

Plus, just writing down a goal has been shown to increase it’s chances of being completed by 90%. 90%! In my book (which is a book filled with time dependent Schrodinger equation and other beautiful math puzzles) 90% is fucking awesome.

How do you feel now that you have a written goal? What other goal setting methods have you used? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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“A moment’s insight is sometimes worth a life’s experience” — Oliver Wendell Holmes

Everybody’s got one.  The problem that’s been following you around all week.  You know the answer is inside of you, if you could just get to it — Crack open your subconscious, scoop out the solution, and move forward.  But the [...]]]>

“A moment’s insight is sometimes worth a life’s experience” — Oliver Wendell Holmes

Everybody’s got one.  The problem that’s been following you around all week.  You know the answer is inside of you, if you could just get to it — Crack open your subconscious, scoop out the solution, and move forward.  But the more you think about the problem, the more confused you become.  Sometimes you give up and hope it’ll go away (even though it always comes back eventually).  And sometimes it swirls and swirls around your head, like a hamster running on a meaningless wheel.

To solve this problem, you can either wait for an “A-Ha” moment, or you can design a moment of insight using a Creative Journal.  Let me explain.

Right vs Left

When you’ve got a serious problem, the analytical left side of your brain is running amok, trying to solve the problem with all the logic that’s stored in your memory.  You experience a constant playback of individual details and sequential thoughts.   A leads to B leads to C.  Unfortunately, this demanding Daemon, as I like to call the left brain, keeps you too busy to step back and look for larger patterns and creative solutions.

This is the perfect time to call on your Muse.  This elusive creature, otherwise known as the nonlinear, intuitive right brain, is playing poker with all the related details of your problem.  And you may already have a Royal Flush.  You just have to sit down and look at your cards.

The key is making your Daemon and your Muse work together.

Play Nice

Your Daemon and your Muse hate each other most of the time.  Or at least they pretend to.  The Daemon loves to live by the rules, and whatever logic defines them.  The Muse loves to daydream and play endless games.  Each is strong in their own sphere of influence, ie analytical vs creative.  But their synergy is the powerful substance that makes all life possible. Invention, Philosophy, and Art.

So, you have to design a way for them to both do what they love.  Here’s one.

A Plan For Clarity

Although the goal, a solution to your problem, may be difficult, the steps to get there are simple.  It only takes three:

1. Schedule the Time
2. Prepare the Space
3. Ask the Question

Remember, your Daemon loves rules, even open ended ones like this, and your Muse love to play games.  A designed moment of insight requires them to work together.  So lets take each step one by one.

1.  Schedule the Time

When you consciously set aside time to resolve a problem, you tell your subconscious that this issue is important.  You prioritize the issue for both your Daemon and your Muse and communicate when they need to show up.  I like to set aside 15 to 30 minutes right before bed.

2.  Prepare the Space

You need to create a space where your Muse can play, and a tangible record of the ideas the Muse creates.  Then, the Daemon can analyze the big picture as well as the merits of each idea and pick the solution that works best.  Make sure and pick a Creative Journal that calls to your Muse — whether its a Recycled Wirebound Notebook, a Green Embossed Journal, or an Artist’s Moleskine Sketchbook.

3.  Ask the Question

This step is crucial and the one that most people forget.  You must define the question you really want to ask.  Don’t assume the initial problem is actually the one you need to solve.  One way to do this is to ask yourself “Why” 3 or 4 times.  Then turn the last “Why” into a “How” to clarify the problem and describe your question.  As an example from my own life…

• Why haven’t I finished writing my novel, Shattered Souls? — Because I haven’t made the time.
• Why haven’t I made time? — Because I prioritized my other writing tasks above it.
• Why did I prioritize other tasks above it? — Because I’m not happy with my plot lines. I’m not sure how to end it, and incorporate the twist.

Clarified Question: How do I end the “Shattered Souls” plot lines and still incorporate the twist? (It looks like I’ve got to set a date with my Journal tonight)

Aha Moment

Now, simply let the Muse play without judgment.  Write every thought, every idea, every inspiration, every emotion, every goal, every intention, and every obstacle that your Muse comes up with.  You may even get a phenomenal “A-Ha” during this time.  Don’t censor anything.  Don’t let the Daemon onto the playing field until the Muse has finished making a complete and total mess of your journal pages.

After 15 to 30 minutes, you stop.  Set the journal aside and take a break for a few minutes or even a few days.  Then, reread everything your wrote.  Hand the whole thing over to your Daemon and let it analytically sort.

You’ll see the Big Picture with more clarity.  You’ll find new and innovative solutions.  You’ll know how to move forward.

Take a moment to be grateful that your brain has stopped spinning in circles, finally.  And reward your innovative mind by reading a book, seeing a movie, going out with friends, or eating chocolate ginger brownies (my personal favorite).

BREAK

When you have a problem forever swirling in your mind, how do you create insight and find the solution? Share your ideas in the comment section!

If you enjoyed the article, please subscribe to LiraVaughan.com and share it with your friends using the Share & Enjoy social bookmarking sites.  Thank you for your support!